Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Snow day!

Super fun time in the snow. The boys loved what Santa brought them.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Nov. 4 week 29 Cancer free!

So Nov. Fourth was my last treatment I'm officially done. On my last one we took the whole family. We really wanted the boys to see what i've been doing this whole time. We took a thank you cake and made it a fun day. They really enjoyed it. I've been done for three weeks now and it feels amazing. I could't ask for better timing either right before the holidays. I'm still low on energy and I'm super weak still but I feel amazing. Mentally not getting sick all the time has really done wonders for me. I'm feeling so good and so blessed I didn't have to have the hysterectomy so I'm done with everything. It feels so good to be a mom again. My mom left right before my last treatment I'm so grateful for all she did to help and I couldn't have done it without her. Now that I'm on my own it's super hard but it is also so wonderful. It's like I have my identity back , I'm good for something now. It just feels so good to be able to take care of my family, it's such a blessing. Looking back at the last seven months I realise how much help I got from my heavenly father. I think that's the real lesson in all trials when you look back and know you didn't survive that on your own because you know your not strong enough. It makes you realise that your Father in Heaven walked that path with you and you might have felt alone but you never were. I'm so grateful for my husband I couldn't have done what he did. He was so patient and kind and took amazing care of me. He was the one shoulder I could cry on and I turned to him often. I'm really blessed to have such amazing people in my life. Thank you all for your prayers I hope you relies how much it means to me and how much ourFather has blessed me because of you.

Thursday, September 9, 2010


I first have to say thank you thank you for all the prayers i can truly feel them working on my behalf. I'm doing much better now and have to say I know that is because my Heavenly Father has heard all of our prayers but of course he answered them in a way I never expected. As you can tell from my last post I was in a very dark place I truly had cried myself to sleep for the last 5 nights and at one point Ry said if you don't calm down I will call the ambulance and take you to the hospital that's how hysterical i was and if you know me you know I don't cry. But Wed. I got a letter from a total stranger that total changed my perspective and a switch went off and it was like new life for me I'm going to share with you what he wrote and I hope he doesn't mind."This is Marcy's husband - she has kept me up on your struggle and I asked if I could write to you)

You don't know me, and I don't know you. But in a way, I feel I do. I'm one of those 3 boys in the photo at the top of your blog ... just 25 years older now. When I was 7 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and I spent my entire childhood through the end of high school in and out of oncology wards and seeing first hand the emotional and mental toll that cancer took on it's victims. For myself and my two younger brothers, we got to see a lot of very good people suffer very unfairly.

You're at the very hardest stage, the stage where you've been getting sicker and sicker and the finish line was just moved on you again. It's terribly unfair and the thought of taking even one more step down the path seems like more than you can take. Instead of thinking of it as a race, or with a specific timeline in mind (one awful lesson I had to learn was that cancer refuses to stick to timelines) - think of another analogy. You have a photo of you boxing with cancer as your Facebook profile picture, and you had it knocked down and thought the fight was over. But somehow it has dragged itself off the canvas and you have to answer the bell again and go out there for one more round. Yes, it's going to be tough and yes, right now it sounds like something you can't do - but once it's over and you've won, you'll be proud of yourself for sticking with it.

I've read your blog and you are a strong, caring and eloquent person. Someday you'll be able to offer a wealth of experience and compassion to others who end up in the same situation - and you'll be able to look right at them and tell them of the times you were at the very bottom and managed to make it through, and it will be a huge lift to someone else.

I'm not a doctor, and I don't know your situation. I do know that in the long view of the rest of your life, 24 weeks instead of 22 is something you'll be able to look back on and realize was a very short period. If you feel that the medical advise is in your best interest, know that in addition to everyone you know there's also an entire community of those of us touched by cancer that are cheering you on.

Keep fighting, and I'll make sure to keep checking your blog. You're in all of our prayers.


(p.s - your sons probably aren't even old enough now to realize it, but they are learning an unbelievable amount from you right now on how to deal with adversity and they will look back and be enormously proud of you ... I know that was the way it was with myself and my brothers)"
This letter was totally my answer to prayer it wan't the call from the doc saying i didn't have to do more treatment like I wanted But none the less this was exactly what i needed a new perspective. I really haven't thought much about the affect this will have on my sons I mean I have thought about the negative things and tried to do all i can to prevent it but i have never thought about any positive affects. To be honest it seems like my kids could care less so I really never thought that maybe my boys are paying attention to me. His letter was like hearing my sons talking 25 yrs from now. He really made me think that how I handle this trial now will be the example my boys look to when they are having trials and adversity in their futures. I don't want them to just cry and give up when times are hard. So I can't either. It's just so crazy that a letter from a total stranger I have never meet or seen can totally change your life, but that is what he did for me. I can't thank him enough for listening to that little voice that said write to her and can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for sending me exactly what I needed in my darkest hour.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Weeks 17-22

Yeah I really have been avoiding this in a bad way. I will probably want to remember these times though so I do need to get all my thoughts down. These last weeks have been the hardest of my life. My desire for normalcy has devoured everything else in my life.I can remember my life right right before all this went down. I was the mother of three on top of being a babysitter so at home during the day I had 3 one yr olds a 4 yr old and a three yr old. I also cleaned offices 3 nights a weeks my husband was in school and I had a very demanding church calling. I remember thinking is this really all my life is laundry and poopy diapers. I was so busy and scheduled and defiantly felt like a stay at home mom. You know under appreciated and over worked. But then it was like i hit a brick wall going 90 mph. When i got diagnosed I had two surgeries and started chemo the day after my last surgery. My mom moved in and I was sick. All the busy crazyness that my life was before became me staying home all the time my mom doing most everything and me being either in bed or on the couch. That started over 5 months ago. It was supposed to end after 12 weeks but that has turned into over 22 weeks. Now I dream of the days when I have enough energy to do the dishes and play with my kids without having to spend two hours lying down to recover. You know what it's like not even being able to to walk down to your mailbox because you know you don't have the energy to make it back home. It's truly depressing the tole these weekly treatments have been on my body. And to look in the mirror and look sick I mean no hair dark black circles and gray skin it's like looking at a walking corpse. I'm not really sure where this is going and maybe I shouldn't even be sharing these things I'm not sure. Maybe getting out the dark feelings will allow me to see the light. This week is supposed to be my last week of chemo it was defiantly that shining light for me I only had to make it till thur. But now that light has dimmed too. When I went for chemo on Fri the doc came in and said my cancer count had gone up one point and that has earned me another cycle of chemo which is two more weeks. It was a total blow to me I know your thinking after all this time whats two more weeks and believe me I've tried to tell myself the same thing but it's like I gave it all I had to make till this week and to ask more is like impossible. I talked to my doc again today he said my number is back in the normal range but he has to talk to the specialist and he's 75% sure I'll have to do another two treatments and possibly do the hysterectomy after all. It's like when that dream of having my life back is just in my grasp it's taken away. He already said it would take over a yr after chemo for me to get back to normal because of how much damage it has done to my body but at least I would be improving every month not getting sicker and now who knows. I know I'm a good person but I still can't help but feel like I'm being punished. i know God doesn't work that way bodies aren't perfect and they break down but this really has me in a bad place. i told my husband I was going to refuse any further treatment. I'm not trying to be a drama queen I just really don't think I can do one more day of this. I just need out you know and at this point it's not really a fight for my life it's just doctors doing guess work about a cancer so rare they don't really know what they are doing. It's not their fault but I'm just tired of well let's just do one more round. No way. For now I just keep praying that on thur. I will be done. That's all I can do pray. Please pray for me I need all the help I can get right now.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Week 13,14,15,16.

So not a ton of excitement these last weeks. My cancer count is down to 17 so we are slowwwwly getting to zero. I did have my first trip to the ER over the weekend, not fun. I don't ever want to be that sick again ever. But I got over it quickly and it made me appreciate feeling better. That's kind of what I want to talk about today all the good things that chemo has done for me. First of all it has cleared up my skin I haven't had a zit for months now. My armpit and downstairs hair is almost gone, and that's awesome. I'm cooler in the summer and have saved on razors! I have gotten to spend a lot of time with my mom and my little sister Christy, that's been fun. And because of their help around the house I've been able to spend more quality time with my kids, just playing and snuggling instead of busy cleaning up after them. That's been so wonderful. I've learned to open up to my friends and family about the hard times too and it has made us all closer. It's made me realize even more how much I love our community and friends they truly are like family to us and we love them and appreciate them so much. Chemo has also brought me closer to my husband, it has made me see him in a new light and made me so grateful for all he does for me. He is so kind and affectionate but also so strong and pushes me when I don't think I can go any further. I love him even more now. It has also brought me closer to my Savior and Heavenly Father through my many desperate and pleading prayers for strength, poop, hope, energy, or relief. They have listened and answered many times and in ways I never expected. Chemo has also helped me to understand better the suffering of people with mental illness and long term health problems. By me just getting a small glimpse into their world has softened my heart and made my burdens seem lighter. So even though there have been really low times, and I'm still frustrated, I can see so much positive and great things that have come from my journey so far. I know I have a long way to go, but that means I still have a lot of opportunities to learn and grow and appreciate all the good I have in my life.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Weeks 10,11,12

I'm not sure how to start with this one I want to be so strong and positive, but I also want to be real and truthful about this whole process. To be honest these last few weeks I have just wanted to throw in the towel and quit. On week 10 I justt never bounced back I didn't have any good days. And I found out my cancer counts were down to 35 I know I should be excited because it's a low number but it was like a slap in the face not finishing the race by like an inch or something I just wanted it to be zero so badly. But week 11 came quickly and I was still so exhausted just feeling so down and drained I had to do another round of shots and I just didn't want to. It meant making the drive to St. George four days in a row and the shots are super painful and they make you ache your whole body. Needless to say they made me exhausted so by Sun. Night I had a total meltdown. I told my husband I was done I just couldn't start another week of this. To think that I have two or three more months of this is too much more than I can do. I broke down crying sobbing just hysterical I have never been that way ever to the point I almost passed out. My poor husband I think I scared him to death. But I calmed down and asked him to give me a blessing(in our church the men can give women blessings by putting there hands on your head and giving a prayer asking for help, or guidance or strength whatever your in need of). I was able to calm down and go to sleep. Needless to say I have had some really down times lately and then the call came on Wed. That they are holding off treatment again because my white count is too low. I tried to think positive that now we can have an awesome fourth but really I was pissed and heartbroken. I had just done all those shots so my counts should be super high and another week missed means this thing keeps dragging on forever. And then the final blow came today my hubby called the hospital to see if they could tell me my cancer count. 25 Really 25 ten points down from last time I could kill someone I thought for sure without doubt it would be zero but NO 25! So I cried a lot was super pissed and upset. Why the hell is this thing dragging on. Of course I'm sure there is a bigger lesson in all this, Starla needs to learn patience, or humility, a few more months with a bald head should do it. Right now I don't give a crap about the big picture or the life lesson I'm just sick and tired and broken. Not to scare you cause I'm no cliff jumper or anything. I just want to be honest I'm human and I've done the strong thing for as long as I could. But now where do I go from here how do I get back to a good place. I'm not sure I know the answer to that. Maybe there is some truth to fake it till you make it, pretend to be happy and ok and then you will be. Or maybe it's just that tonight I go to bed with a prayer and a hope that tomorrow will be better. That at the end of all this I can look back and be proud of how I handled this even though I have had really hard times. Maybe I'll say a prayer and have the courage to do one more day with a smile on my face. I hope so I hope this cloud will pass.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Weeks 8,9

I need to get better about updating. Week 8 went pretty good I was hoping my counts would be down to zero but they weren't. My count was 110, down which is good but I was still a little disappointed. Patience has never been my strong suit so I've been frustrated knowing I still have so long to go. My counts have to be zero and then we do 8 more weeks. So come on already! Last week was super crazy we went down Sat. to Las Vegas after my big treatment to go to my little sisters graduation on Wed. I was so worn out but glad i went to support her. Wed. night we headed back to Kanab and Thur. morning went to St. George for my treatment. My white counts were to low so they didn't do chemo they gave me a shot to boost my white count and then I had a ct scan of my chest to see if the spots are gone. Hopefully I'll have good news this week about those results. Then Fri. we went back to St. george to get another shot and then headed to Richfield for a funeral. One of my mission companions passed away she was my age and died in her sleep. It has been very devastating to me as we are so close. Her parents asked me to speak at the funeral. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. We got back Sat. night and had to go Sun. morning again to St. George for another shot and then again Mon. morning for the last one in that series. needless to say this has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. But Mon. night we celebrated my two youngest boys birthdays. That was so fun getting the family together. This week has also made me reflect a lot on my own life with the passing of my dear friend so suddenly and my cancer and seeing so many people go through chemo some of them terminal, it just made me think of how quickly our lives can change. I defiantly want to simplify my life so, no more babysitting and, no more bunco. I really want his next year to be about me and my family and the ones I love the most. We just don't know what's in God's plan for us so we need to make the best of our time here. Tell the people around you how wonderful they are. Love your kids every day like it might be the last time you see them. Kiss your spouse goodnight like you really mean it. And do some good in this world. You will never regret doing a nice thing or setting a good example to those around you. Live everyday the best you can but don't worry about perfection Jesus took care of that, that's what the atonement is for just use what you got and make the best of it. To my dear friend Jenna (aka Pete) I love you and miss you so much. You were an amazing example to me. Give Jesus a high five for me and tell him to hurry this chemo thing along! Lucky to have an angel like you looking down on me.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Week 5,6,7

Ok obviously I've been slacking week 5 really threw me off. My white counts were so low they wouldn't even do chemo. But the next week my counts were back up and we started again. I also found out my cancer counts are already down to 320. So after 4 weeks they droped from 350,000 to 320. It was very exciting news once the count gets to zero then I have 8 treatments left so the count down can really begin. I've been feeling pretty good which is a true blessing. And my armpit hair is almost gone which is totally awesome! I had to shave my head well bic it because the fine hairs started getting so irritated I'm not sure why but my hubby loves my smooth bald head. My eyebrows and eyelashes are still hanging on. The hardest part lately has been the anxiety I get it so bad the days before my treatments I just go crazy during the day doing projects and staying busy but then at night I can't sleep it can be very frustrating. It's defiantly a mental game fighting the depression that wants to consume me and just making myself get out of bed everyday. It's nothing I've had to deal with before it makes me feel for those who deal daily with these problems. It's all stuff that I just didn't know I'd be dealing with I just thought I'd be puking a lot. But I'm grateful that I know this will be over and I can have my normal life back a lot of people don't have that. I also got to go to a cancer makeup class they had for our 36 and younger group. There was like 6 of us and a lady came to teach us how to put makeup on and draw on eyebrows and stuff and companies donate all the makeup for us. It was so fun they also had wigs for us to try on they weren't to bad but I just can't see myself wearing one. I don't know what it is maybe cause it's fake and that just bugs me plus they are hot and ichy. I just rock the bald head and let the people stare! Plus I really don't see myself very often so it's really not my problem. It is tough sometimes I just miss my hair but it will grow. I'm hopping we'll find out thur. that my counts are down to zero so get your prayers going then we'll start the countdown. Love you guys thanks for all your encouragement I'm trying to stay strong and positive and all your kind words help.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Week four!

Week four has been a crazy one. When we went on Thursday they said my white counts were very low so we would need to come down everyday for three days to get a shot that would stimulate my marrow to produce white cells. So we had to drive the hour and a half Thursday. Fri. Sat. and sun. It was crazy but I did get to go with my little sisters one day to go shopping and that was fun and Mother's day we drove home through Zion and it was so beautiful. And besides being tired I have felt pretty good. The funny thing about chemotherapy is everything they give you to help you has horrible side effects like the iron they give me to boost my red blood count , it makes me super nauseous and can give you a rash. The shots for the white blood cells made me so ache my muscles and my bones. Next thing they give me to help me I'm going to ask if the side effects are worth the help. I mean really! On Mon. our town threw a fundraiser for us. My wonderful volleyball girls organized it and they got so much help from our church and the community. They had a dinner the two grocery stores in town donated all the food they had a craft sale a bake sale and a yard sale. The turn out was amazing there were probably around a thousand people there and when you think that there are probably only four thousand people in the whole town it just blows my mind. It makes me feel so loved. It also shows me that there is so much good in the world. That with all the craziness going on around us there is so much power in just old fashioned love and kindness. It also makes me feel like God is so aware of little me in this big world and he has given me so much support through all these wonderful people!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Week three

Well week three has been full of surprises. The next day after my last post we were driving to my treatment and I was messing with my hair and it started coming out by the handful. They said by week three but I didn't know they ment that day. It was so weird to just out of the blue have your hair fall out like that. But we just came home after the treatments and shaved it. The kids got a kick out of it and it has been a much easier transition for them then I thought it would be. When we went to treatment they first do blood work and then we met with the doc. He said my red blood cells are really low and they would start giving me iron in the iv every week, and if the red count doesn't go up they will have to do a blood transfusion. So everyone pray that the iron works cause the transfusion scares me. Then they told me my white counts were very low too and I needed to stay away from lots of people. So I was feeling pretty discouraged after that visit but then we went back the next day for more treatment and the nurse said my hcg levels were in. Those are the cancer markers that they use for this cancer and starting out I was at 350,000 and now just after two weeks it was down to 18,000. That's no typo it has dropped that drastically so now I feel so happy. I know your prayers are working and the treatment while hard on me is totally kicking cancer's ass! It was just the encouragement I needed. This week has been hard the treatment makes me really sick and being sick makes me more negative and sad but I know in a few days i'll be feeling better. The hair thing has been crazy. It's like looking at a stranger in the mirror. My friend Katie made me a whole bunch of flowers and headbands that I love it gives me a feminine look and doesn't scream cancer like the hats do. I'm so blessed to have such amazing friends.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Second week

Hallelujah the small treatment last week wasn't so bad. I prayed and prayed that I would be able to go to my boys baseball games on Sat. It was Braxton's first t-ball game ever and Austin's first game of the season, so I wanted to go so bad. My prayers were answered I had really bad heartburn but that was the worst of it. It really gave me the confidence that maybe I can do this after all. If only every other week is bad then I'll have lots of good days. I also went to all three hours of church on Sun., it was a little tiring but I'm glad I did it at least once. Of course I came home and puked my guts out I couldn't even keep water down but It was just the stomach flu and only lasted a couple days. I was pissed at first like really Heavenly Father do I really have to be sick on my good week, but then I thought about it if I got this sick on My bad weekend I'd probably end up in the hospital so I realized it was a blessing after all. It's crazy the things you learn to appreciate. My hair is also hanging on which is nice. Everyone keeps saying what if yours doesn't fall out. I would be so pissed if I cut all my hair off and it doesn't fall out. Stinking charity and their sick kids taking all my hair. I would write them a letter asking for my hair back and have someone put them in extensions! Just joking that would be so funny though. "Dear Locks of Love, My hair didn't fall out after all I would like my donations back please. Love Starla" I'd really have problems then h uh! Anyway all kidding aside I just want to tell all my friends and family thank you so much for everything. I really do feel so loved. And to my Bunco girls thank you thank you! You guys rock and I'm so lucky to have you as my friends!

Friday, April 23, 2010

First week

My guess is there are a million cancer blogs out there so I'm not sure what to write exactly in these updates. I do want to be honest though so, chemo kicked my trash! I'll admit I'm not superwoman and it has been much harder than I thought. I had a couple rough days over the weekend. Having said that, I have had many good days and many good moments that out weigh the bad ten fold. There have been so many blessings, like last Thurs. we went in for the first treatment I had just had surgery the day before and we still didn't know what the plan was. I needed to receive 3 different chemo IVs and the one took 12 hrs. and they hadn't worked out the details yet. When we got there the first two took a couple of hours but then they gave us a fanny pack with a pump and taught Ry how to unhook it and flush it when the 12 hrs was up. They said usually they just hospitalize you for two days because of the time and that we had more treatments the next day too. Instead we got to leave go stay comfortably at a friends and that is a blessing. Constipation (I know TMI !) has been a ridiculous challenge. One night on the crapper in tremendous pain I began to be-raid God and ask him, well tell him to help me. He could do this for me a poop wasn't too much to ask for right! Well after a little suffering and me not patiently waiting, relief comes. Now you all know poop can be an answer to prayers. It was a blessing. Now I know alot of people are reading these updates and some don't believe in a higher power. But this is not me trying to convert. I know people may look at my faith and think it is a coping mechanism. But for me it's the defining reality of my life. I see myself as a daughter of God, a person of tremendous worth and potential. Though I may have hard times and struggles I know I have, not merely a God but a Father, a Heavenly Father who loves me his daughter. And though he doesn't take away my trials he lifts my burdens and soothes my aching heart. So don't give up on this blog or dismiss it for it's religious tones. Just take this opportunity to get an inside view into my life and what my faith does for me. To all of you thanks so much for everything. Being the charity case is not easy for me but I have learned so much by being helped and motivated by all of you much love. Star

p.s. I'm no Tebow and I have no desire to be a poster child for Christianity. I have my own problems and am nowhere near perfection. Thank you.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Locks of Love!


After short and sassy!

I was so happy my friend Jeri could fit me in today to get my hair cut. I really wanted to donate it so something good can come of all of this. Fyi Locks of love won't take your hair once you've started chemo I was so glad someone told me that or all my gorgeous hair would have gone to waste. It was good to be able to talk to my kids about it so they understood that this hair will go to someone who needs it much more than I do. I don't think they will do the hysterectomy this week we haven't heard anything and they scheduled a surgery for WEd. to put a post in. It's just a thing they put under your skin to put the iv in so they don't have to find a vein each time. I feel so blessed though a sweet family in our church gave us a check yesterday for $500 and today I got the call that we would need $500 by Wed to cover half the cost of the surgery up front. I know God is so aware of us and our needs and he answers our prayers through other wonderful people who listen so carefully to his guidance. Thank you to everyone who has given us kind words or has stopped by to encourage me. I feel lifted by all your sweet sprits.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Cancer, can't believe I said it! (Choriocarcinoma)

So I debated long and hard about this, to share or not to share? I tend to be a very private person, especially with bad news but there is a lesson in everything so I have a feeling my lesson is to be more open communicate ask for help and share good or bad so here it goes. In Aug. I miscarried I didn't tell anyone at the time but my cycle never returned to normal I ended up having a period for a long time like months long, so I finally went to the Doc. He did some blood work and gave me some pills and I went home. No big deal. A couple days later I get the call you need to do an ultrasound you blood work wasn't good. So I go there is a mass in my uterus the guys says it look likes a molar pregnancy. Then two hours later I get a call come in you need to talk to the Doc. The Doc says you have a molar Pregnancy you need a D&C but it's a special one so you need to be in St. George tomorrow by nine. So off we go, we see the surgeon he tells us to wait for the call and then we go down they do the D&C and we're back home. I'm wiped out after the surgery so tired but I'm hopeful. Then two day later the bleeding returns I get worried but I have no idea what's going on. A few days later the surgeon calls and says we just got the biopsy results and it's cancer. So I booked you a CT scan and an app. with the oncologist. This was thur. Apr. 1st, but it was no joke. Can you imagine calling your family on April Fools to tell them you have cancer Yeah that was good times,Heavenly Father has to get his giggles some how. It was a long wait till our app. but on Wed. we went, the oncologist said we need more than just a ct scan we need a brain mri and blood work too. He diagnosed me with Chorio carcinoma. It's a very treatable cancer but it's spreads quickly and easily following the blood flow. so they had to check the brain, lungs, liver, kidneys, well that's all I can remember. So after all the tests they told us to come back tomorrow. We have to drive 1 1/2 hours to get to St. George for all these app. so me and Ry have had lots of quality time lately. So we went back on Thur. the 8th. The oncologist said that the cancer had spread to my lungs but no where else, that is a good thing he said the lungs are easy to treat he said I was at stage IIIB and was high risk so they had to be aggressive with the treatment. He said Chemo would start on thur. one week from today. He also said I needed to think about doing a hysterectomy because this cancer can come back but I'm young and need to decide if I was done having children. I told him I wanted it done cause the kids I have are my priority and I want to be healthy for them. So he said he would try to schedule the surgery for early next week but it might have to be after the chemo is done because the tumor in my uterus is very large and they might not operate till the chemo has shrunk it. The Chemo will be in two week rounds for 12 to 18 weeks. the schedule is 2 ivs on thurs followed by a 12 hr. drip then fri two more ivs then three days of this chemo pill then thurs. two ivs then the whole thing starts over on the next thur. It will be intense and my hair will be gone by week three but my spirits are high I'm so grateful it's me and not one of my kids. I'm grateful my mom can come up to help and I have a very supportive and loving husband. Right now I don't need anything but your love support and prayers. I know this is a lot to take in my mind can barely come to grips with it but just know I'm ok I know I will be fine once this is over and you know I'll look so sexy with my bald head everybody will want to shave theirs. I'll try to update this every week so that you guys are informed. But please no sad cancer stories unless you have tips or tricks from your own chemo experience.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Ok this project turned out so cute these are curtains for Cash's room. Total cast was $30. I could have bought curtains for that much but they wouldn't have matched so perfectly!

This was my room make over project it's not done yet but we rearranged the furniture I love where it's at now and I painted all the dresser and night stand including the hardware. It was that ugly peach before with gold hardware. I have a new bed spread I ordered and I'm going to paint the bed dark too and curtains so I'll post when it's finally done. BUt the total cost was only about $40 dollars worth of spray paint. I love it!

These are baby bracelets I made for Lindy's baby girl I've also had 3 friends who have had baby girls so don't worry ladies I got them coming for ya!

This was a cake me and Austin made for his blue and gold banquet. It turned out cute and he was excited I just wish I had some black frosting to outline it but next time I'll know.

Las t is this cake I made for Ryan for Valentines. Nothing like giving a gift you can eat too! It was yummy!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Crazy kid!

Braxton: Mom do i have to go to school today?
Me: No.
Braxton: Yay! Mom I'm so proud of you for saying no!