Friday, April 23, 2010

First week

My guess is there are a million cancer blogs out there so I'm not sure what to write exactly in these updates. I do want to be honest though so, chemo kicked my trash! I'll admit I'm not superwoman and it has been much harder than I thought. I had a couple rough days over the weekend. Having said that, I have had many good days and many good moments that out weigh the bad ten fold. There have been so many blessings, like last Thurs. we went in for the first treatment I had just had surgery the day before and we still didn't know what the plan was. I needed to receive 3 different chemo IVs and the one took 12 hrs. and they hadn't worked out the details yet. When we got there the first two took a couple of hours but then they gave us a fanny pack with a pump and taught Ry how to unhook it and flush it when the 12 hrs was up. They said usually they just hospitalize you for two days because of the time and that we had more treatments the next day too. Instead we got to leave go stay comfortably at a friends and that is a blessing. Constipation (I know TMI !) has been a ridiculous challenge. One night on the crapper in tremendous pain I began to be-raid God and ask him, well tell him to help me. He could do this for me a poop wasn't too much to ask for right! Well after a little suffering and me not patiently waiting, relief comes. Now you all know poop can be an answer to prayers. It was a blessing. Now I know alot of people are reading these updates and some don't believe in a higher power. But this is not me trying to convert. I know people may look at my faith and think it is a coping mechanism. But for me it's the defining reality of my life. I see myself as a daughter of God, a person of tremendous worth and potential. Though I may have hard times and struggles I know I have, not merely a God but a Father, a Heavenly Father who loves me his daughter. And though he doesn't take away my trials he lifts my burdens and soothes my aching heart. So don't give up on this blog or dismiss it for it's religious tones. Just take this opportunity to get an inside view into my life and what my faith does for me. To all of you thanks so much for everything. Being the charity case is not easy for me but I have learned so much by being helped and motivated by all of you much love. Star

p.s. I'm no Tebow and I have no desire to be a poster child for Christianity. I have my own problems and am nowhere near perfection. Thank you.

11 comments:

Tara said...

Hi Star,

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear you are getting through and still able to see the little blessings hear and there. Just a little note. Try Acidophilus. They make a pill form it is also found in yogurt. Activia works wonders too.

Rach said...

First week down! Way to go! I am so glad you got to poop! I hate when my kids can't poop and I have to give them suppositories! (TMI?) Anyway, you are so awesome. Keep it up Star!!

p.s. you're testimony is so sweet and I love to hear it! Don't ever be scared to share it. There is so much strength behind your testimony! I LOVE it!!

Lauren H. said...

It's definitely going to be a rough time, but you've got a very positive outlook on everything. Way to go!

Just like constipation in pregnancy, drink TONS of water and I think the Activia suggestion is a great one!

Ramsays said...

You are such an amazing person! I love reading what you have to say and what an influence you are for all of us!! I hated that when I was Preggers hang in there!!

Nicki said...

Girl, I just love you! You are my kind of gal, you just give it to us straight :) I unfortunatly am having the opposite problem as you and wouldn't mind a little constipation!
Thanks for lifting my spirits today! YOU ARE G R E A T!!

The Wright Family said...

Where are my tissues? Starla you rock. Thank you for sharing something so personal...your trials, triu
phs, and espically your testimony. Glad to hear you're doing good, our prayers are with you.

Kathleen said...

Starla, You have been a blessing to so many people, in so many ways! It is difficult when one becomes "a project" or "charity case", but I believe it is Heavenly Father's way of rewarding us, to allow others to bless our lives in the same/different ways that we have touched theirs. He allows us to learn to be humble, which in turn allows others to bless our lives with their service. Always remember He loves you, and so do we!!

I wish we were closer, and perhaps I can steer the family south of Provo when we come back to take Chris to the MTC. It will be in July/August.

The Holland Family said...

You are so REAL and great! I love your spirit. It was so great to see you out and about today. Your words inspire me. Thanks, Love Nicole

Nate & Elisa said...

Your awesome Star! I am greatful for your friendship and your testimony. There are so many people that are so willing and want to help do anything they can for you guys. I think it is awesome and it has serously strengthened my testimony that Heavenly Father is aware of your needs! Thanks for the updates! Love ya, Elisa

Rosie said...

Hi Star,

You have no idea who I am but I know you. I frequent your Moms blog......

I hope you don't mind me reading your story. I must say you are such an amzing and strong wife, mother and woman! The Lord has truly blessed you with your beautiful family. Hang in there and know that all the way in Alaska someone is thinking of you *hugs*

Rosie

Nicole Scoubes said...

Starla, I love you so much and Im sorry to hear you are dealing with this but you are in my prayers and I love you! Nicole Scoubes