My guess is there are a million cancer blogs out there so I'm not sure what to write exactly in these updates. I do want to be honest though so, chemo kicked my trash! I'll admit I'm not superwoman and it has been much harder than I thought. I had a couple rough days over the weekend. Having said that, I have had many good days and many good moments that out weigh the bad ten fold. There have been so many blessings, like last Thurs. we went in for the first treatment I had just had surgery the day before and we still didn't know what the plan was. I needed to receive 3 different chemo IVs and the one took 12 hrs. and they hadn't worked out the details yet. When we got there the first two took a couple of hours but then they gave us a fanny pack with a pump and taught Ry how to unhook it and flush it when the 12 hrs was up. They said usually they just hospitalize you for two days because of the time and that we had more treatments the next day too. Instead we got to leave go stay comfortably at a friends and that is a blessing. Constipation (I know TMI !) has been a ridiculous challenge. One night on the crapper in tremendous pain I began to be-raid God and ask him, well tell him to help me. He could do this for me a poop wasn't too much to ask for right! Well after a little suffering and me not patiently waiting, relief comes. Now you all know poop can be an answer to prayers. It was a blessing. Now I know alot of people are reading these updates and some don't believe in a higher power. But this is not me trying to convert. I know people may look at my faith and think it is a coping mechanism. But for me it's the defining reality of my life. I see myself as a daughter of God, a person of tremendous worth and potential. Though I may have hard times and struggles I know I have, not merely a God but a Father, a Heavenly Father who loves me his daughter. And though he doesn't take away my trials he lifts my burdens and soothes my aching heart. So don't give up on this blog or dismiss it for it's religious tones. Just take this opportunity to get an inside view into my life and what my faith does for me. To all of you thanks so much for everything. Being the charity case is not easy for me but I have learned so much by being helped and motivated by all of you much love. Star
p.s. I'm no Tebow and I have no desire to be a poster child for Christianity. I have my own problems and am nowhere near perfection. Thank you.