Thursday, July 29, 2010

Week 13,14,15,16.

So not a ton of excitement these last weeks. My cancer count is down to 17 so we are slowwwwly getting to zero. I did have my first trip to the ER over the weekend, not fun. I don't ever want to be that sick again ever. But I got over it quickly and it made me appreciate feeling better. That's kind of what I want to talk about today all the good things that chemo has done for me. First of all it has cleared up my skin I haven't had a zit for months now. My armpit and downstairs hair is almost gone, and that's awesome. I'm cooler in the summer and have saved on razors! I have gotten to spend a lot of time with my mom and my little sister Christy, that's been fun. And because of their help around the house I've been able to spend more quality time with my kids, just playing and snuggling instead of busy cleaning up after them. That's been so wonderful. I've learned to open up to my friends and family about the hard times too and it has made us all closer. It's made me realize even more how much I love our community and friends they truly are like family to us and we love them and appreciate them so much. Chemo has also brought me closer to my husband, it has made me see him in a new light and made me so grateful for all he does for me. He is so kind and affectionate but also so strong and pushes me when I don't think I can go any further. I love him even more now. It has also brought me closer to my Savior and Heavenly Father through my many desperate and pleading prayers for strength, poop, hope, energy, or relief. They have listened and answered many times and in ways I never expected. Chemo has also helped me to understand better the suffering of people with mental illness and long term health problems. By me just getting a small glimpse into their world has softened my heart and made my burdens seem lighter. So even though there have been really low times, and I'm still frustrated, I can see so much positive and great things that have come from my journey so far. I know I have a long way to go, but that means I still have a lot of opportunities to learn and grow and appreciate all the good I have in my life.

6 comments:

Gaengy said...

Wow Starla, you have such a beautiful way of articulating your feelings. This could be in the ensign one day! Your courage and strength is so remarkable. Thanks for sharing

RufflesAndFringe said...

You are one strong, brave woman! Good for you for focusing on the positive as I am sure that is not easy at the moment.

The Wright Family said...

Starla, you are so awesome. I look up to you so much and appreciate you sharing your experience. Hang in there, our thoughts and prayers are with you!

Tara said...

I love ya Star and I still pray for you everyday. Love ya Tara

The Reese's said...

Starla,
My Mom and Dad gave me your blog address. I have gone back and read many of your posts! You are such a remarkable person! After reading your blog, I want to be a better person. We are praying for you! Lots of love,
Sandy Terry Reese

Emilie said...

Thanks for the update-we eagerly follow your progress. Thanks for your fabulous example, as well as your sense of humor--love it!