Ok obviously I've been slacking week 5 really threw me off. My white counts were so low they wouldn't even do chemo. But the next week my counts were back up and we started again. I also found out my cancer counts are already down to 320. So after 4 weeks they droped from 350,000 to 320. It was very exciting news once the count gets to zero then I have 8 treatments left so the count down can really begin. I've been feeling pretty good which is a true blessing. And my armpit hair is almost gone which is totally awesome! I had to shave my head well bic it because the fine hairs started getting so irritated I'm not sure why but my hubby loves my smooth bald head. My eyebrows and eyelashes are still hanging on. The hardest part lately has been the anxiety I get it so bad the days before my treatments I just go crazy during the day doing projects and staying busy but then at night I can't sleep it can be very frustrating. It's defiantly a mental game fighting the depression that wants to consume me and just making myself get out of bed everyday. It's nothing I've had to deal with before it makes me feel for those who deal daily with these problems. It's all stuff that I just didn't know I'd be dealing with I just thought I'd be puking a lot. But I'm grateful that I know this will be over and I can have my normal life back a lot of people don't have that. I also got to go to a cancer makeup class they had for our 36 and younger group. There was like 6 of us and a lady came to teach us how to put makeup on and draw on eyebrows and stuff and companies donate all the makeup for us. It was so fun they also had wigs for us to try on they weren't to bad but I just can't see myself wearing one. I don't know what it is maybe cause it's fake and that just bugs me plus they are hot and ichy. I just rock the bald head and let the people stare! Plus I really don't see myself very often so it's really not my problem. It is tough sometimes I just miss my hair but it will grow. I'm hopping we'll find out thur. that my counts are down to zero so get your prayers going then we'll start the countdown. Love you guys thanks for all your encouragement I'm trying to stay strong and positive and all your kind words help.
9 comments:
I love your bald head! You are totally rocking it!!!
I love you so much and I will keep you in my prayers! Love ya Nicole
Starla, you are so awesome. Nobody would ever know that you are EVER down or depressed or that somedays you don't want to get out of bed because you are so positive and amazing. I want to be more like you. How about that for a compliment?? It's true. Anyway, I love being around you. You make me feel so good inside and I just love it!! That's what I want that you have, the ability to make people feel good when they are around me. It's a knack, maybe a gift, but you have it. Hang in there girl, I have a feeling that you are going to get that zero count!! YEAH ZERO COUNT!! (there I did a cheer for those too! The zero wanted some love.) Well, This is a conversation with myself, not a comment, haha So I will wrap it up with an I love you!!
On my knees already!:)
Pick a Thursday I can take you and we'll make it a girls day. I'll eat something weird so I can share in the heartburn :)
Hi Starla. You don't know me, but I'm Jason Fuller's sister and Nicole Holland's cousin. I've enjoyed reading your blog. My sister-in-law has finished chemo and is going through radiation right now. Your stories are similiar...itchy heads, hot wigs, feeling pukey. If you're interested her's is shaquelcannon.blogspot.com. Stay strong, girl, and keep writing!
hate armpit hair! We are still praying for you.. you are killing it keep it up. Love ya.
Oh Starla, I am so glad your count in almost zero!!!! We are praying for you.
Starla, you DO rock the bald head. You do cool WITHOUT hair better than I do cool WITH hair. you totally remind me of the song, "I'm Alright" by Pink--totally sassy and can conquer anything. You are in our prayers.
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