Life of a Star

Ocean Oct. 2011

2011-12-27T13:29:00.001-08:00

We had an amazing time at the beach this year. We went at the end of Oct. and the weather was perfect. The boys loved it and had so much fun. Thanks Mom and Dad for taking us .

1st day of school

2011-12-27T13:23:00.001-08:00

Austin started the 5th grade with Mrs. Lee. Braxton started the 1st grade with Mrs. Tilton.

Birthday boys!

2011-12-27T13:04:00.000-08:00

So this year we had a 3yr old a 6yr old and an 11yr old. Crazy how old thses guys are getting. Cash and Braxton had their party together they had friends over and made cupcakes.

This is our Cash Money by his tree. They are both so big now!

Austin turned 11 and we celebrated his birthday in Vegas.

Our family and the Benson's went cosmic bowling to celebrate!

You can tell which family gets their picture taken often and i don't even know where Braxty is. Oh well it was a good time, even though Austin looks miserable.

Happy kicked the crap out of cancer day!

2011-11-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my year mark of being cancer free. On Nov. 4th last year I had my last chemo treatment. I was a hot mess. I had been diagnosed with chorio carcinoma in April of last year I endured 7 months of weekly chemo treatments. By the end I was weak not only physically but mentally and emotionally. Here I am at the end of the treatments

I know scary right I defiantly looked more dead then alive and kinda felt that way too. But I'm blessed cause I'm alive the cancer is gone. A year later I'm healthy, I'm happy, I'm busy. So basically I'm back to me and I love and appreciate everyday that I get to be me. So here a year later I look like this

No longer sickly and with the man I love. With all we've been through this last year we are still the best of friends. It's not always about how beautifully or gracefully you survive life's challenges but it's the fact that you survived and your a better person cause of it. So happy anniversary to me and the fact that I beat cancer to death.

New Decor Blog

2011-11-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

Ok I finally did I just started a blog for my DIY projects. This one will go back to being my family blog and I will start letting the family know what's going on with my kids. The blog is Beer Budget Decor on Blogspot. I'm excited to start I transfered over some of my project posts sop they are on there already. Any advise On how to get this thing going would be great.

Love note pallet wood sign

2011-11-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to make a sign for over my bed using a pallet. I had no idea how hard those suckers were to take apart seriously crazy. I watched youtube videos and got the biggest sledge hammer but in the end I just took a power saw and cut the crap out of it. When I was finished I ended up with this

So I patch worked the pieces together to get the size and shape I wanted. I used plumbers tape which is a metal strip with holes running all down it it comes in a little roll for super cheap I just screwed it all together with that. I wanted a love letter type feel for it so I just used white craft paint and free handed the lyrics on to it. By the way I'm sure this song will be stuck in your head all day cause that's what happens to me. But I love how she turned out. A big statement piece for about $3 dollars since I only had to buy the plumbers tape. Love me some cheap decor. Ok one last look...

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TP Mirror

2011-09-14T13:32:00.000-07:00

This is so my kind of project, it didn't cost me a dime. It is a big statement piece though and you can't beat that. So my supplies for this project are a round mirror that I got for free toilet paper rolls and craft paint. You could use any round mirror they sell them everywhere and I find them at thrift stores all the time.

So I painted the frame of my mirror black and smashed the tp rolls flat and then cut them up to make leaf shapes. I then painted each leaf shape with the black paint. Using my hot glue gun I glued the leaves around the mirror then glued leaves in each space till I got it as round as I wanted. The results are amazing most people think it's metal till I tell them it's TP rolls. So here she is!

I just love her and at zero cost it's really a project anyone can do . Since craft paint comes in like a million colors you can honestly make one to match any room decor.

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Super chic for super cheap!

2011-05-23T10:54:00.000-07:00

I'm loving getting some projects done. At easter we went to Vegas and I went thrifting and took a trip to micheals. Dangerous combo for a crafter like me but i just love the things I got for the house! For the front room I got a stencil and craft paint and brushes about $15 in supplies but with that I turned this

Into this!

And this is no wall flower either. It's about 3ft wide by 2 1/2 ft tall. It's a big lady but for $15 bucks AAAAMazing! I love her. You don't need much instruction to make your own I had my hubby screw four brackets on the back two hold the threee pieces together. I sanded her down cause I was using crap wood from out by our shed that's been there for who knows how long. I painted her white with craft paint. made a heart stencil. Like so...

Then I Painted on the red heart. I used my letter stencil! ( which I still have and is available to borrow anytime) And done! So easy! My inspiration is the Susie Harris Blog she does all these amazing hand painted signs! I decided to brave it on my own and i'm so glad i did.

So cute I feel like she needs a little something on the sides of her but it'll just have to wait.

Next I got a crazy chicken head and these sconces at Savers total it was $10 for the lot not super cheap but still a good deal.

See super ugly and plastic I didn't want sconces and have to put in candles so I just did this..

Kinda wacky but I love it for that reason. No one else will have a wall quite like this one.

Ok for my final project which I love love love! I got a lamp at the D.I. in St. George for $7. Her shade was a little tall but with some tape and wire clippers I was able to shorten it and with fabric I already had I made her look like this...

I got the idea from this blog I did mine a little different cause I wanted to use the materials I already had to cut costs. But I just love it!

All I did was hot glue fabric all over the shade. Then I cut strips of faabric folded in half ironed then hot glued on in a wavy pattern. It was a bit time consuming but so worth it I think. So there are my latest bargins don't be afraid to try them yourselves I have no skills what so ever so if i can do them you can too!

Dirty hamper turned awesome end table!

2011-04-17T13:58:00.001-07:00

So how do I know who my real friends are? They're the ones that skip the cookies and bring me over crap from their Grandma's house that she was going to throw away. The absolute perfect gift for me!

And that's just what my beautiful friend Rachel did for me when she brought me over her Grandma's dirty clothes hamper. She's plastic and a hamper but that didn't stop me from turning her into this amazing end table for my hallway.

Don't you love how the glaze brings out all the little details.

She's the perfect size for this spot now I need to find the right accessories for her!

Mirror and sconce update!

2011-04-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

So gross right. This mirror has been in our basement storage for years it's a little jacked so my hubby would not let me hang it in our house. But I thought it would be perfect for the downstairs guest room where he never goes. Cleaned off the dust and dirt a little spray paint and so pretty!

I love how it looks and brings more light into this basement room.

I'm getting there I just love how this room is coming together so cheery and bright you don't know your staying under ground.

Awesome Orange dresser for spring!

2011-04-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

Ok don't you just love this before pic! The unfinished dirty basement with the drawers all askew. It makes it look like an amazing hot mess, which will make the after pics that much more amazing! Are you ready? TADA!

Isn't she pretty, and so perfect for spring. It just makes me happy inside to see these bright colors.

Don't you just love this hardware. It wasn't this pretty when I got it. It was all green and peach and brown but I got them on ebay for $15 dollars for 24 and that included shipping. They are huge and solid I love them. The perfect earrings for this dresser!

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The Ladder is finally complete

2011-04-05T14:49:00.000-07:00

I've had this project going forever. I'm so happy I finally got it done. My good friend has been building her dream home and if you've built a home you know how stressful it is. So I decided to make her a little house warming gift. It has taken me a long time to complete but I love how it turned out. I don't have a total before cause I forgot. But this is her after she was primed.

It took me forever to find the paint it's Krylon Blue Ocean Breeze. I used a little glaze in black. And then I staped the rope to each rung. This ladder was actually from an outdoor playset that we tore down a few years ago it's been on the side of our house forever. But I saw this done on a blog so I decided it was too cute and copied it. I tried really hard to find the blog post again to give them credit but after three days of trying I gave up. But here she is I just love how it turned out.

If you want to copy my time out sign. That post is HERE

The other pins can be used for hanging pictures or anything you like!

Super cheap wall art

2011-04-05T14:23:00.000-07:00

So I found this toilet paper project on this blog and knew I wanted to do it for my bathroom. I'm mean how perfect is tp wall art for the john right! So this is the site Bon Temps Beignet

Anyway i couldn't get mine to work out quite as cute. Then i had this genious idea I had just trimmed my willow tree and had saved all these branches so put the two together and this is what I came up with.

I loved how it turned out and since I had everything on hand it didn't cost me a dime

A year ago today.

2011-04-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

A year ago today I got a call that you never think you will ever get. I'm sorry but your biopsy results came back and you have cancer. I wanted to say is this a joke it was after all April fools but I knew this was no joke. Can you imagine having to call your family on April Fools to tell them you have cancer. Everybody was saying is this a joke? But even i was in deep denial. I had been told by my family doc that even if it's cancer they just give you a chemo pill to take and that people sometimes take it daily for arthritis so it wasn't that big of a deal. So we told everybody it wasn't real cancer it was going to be fine. I had no idea what i was in for in the next seven months. It was defiantly real cancer and real chemo. This last year i have learned so much about myself. I'm not as tough and indestructible as I had always thought. I do need help and can't do everything on my own. I learned I could pray and ask for help with anything including poop! I learned that trials including sickness is not a punishment from God or a tool he uses to teach us things but it's a natural consequence of these imperfect bodies. Sickness just happens it's a part of life so don't take it personally. I learned just how much my husband loves me and how much I can lean on him and depend on him. I'm grateful to my mom who stepped in and turned in her grandma badge for a mom badge and helped take care of me and my kids. I'm also so grateful for our community who stepped up with not only emotional support but financial help as well without every one's generosity we would have lost everything our home and sanity. It made me so grateful for my healthy kids. That was one thing that really helped me get thorough it all was the thought better me then my kids. A year ago today I was clueless now I know more things than a woman my age should. I can't say that I'm grateful for cancer but I can say that I'm grateful for the things I have learned and the people who have taught me. I hope this year brings more learning experiences but through another way besides cancer.

This pic is from my last day of chemo.

Basketball Boys

2011-03-04T14:17:00.001-08:00

Austin and Ryan were both on teams this year. It was so fun to watch them play. Austin really improved this year.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Cool green nightstand! Finally reupholstered dining chairs!

2011-02-15T14:20:00.000-08:00

I picked this beauty up at a local thrift store for 4 bucks. It needed a little work since it had been left outside but my hubby hooked me up with that. She is going in Christy's room downstairs so I went with a lovely green color did a little glaze action and here she is in all her glory!

Her final resting place by Christy's bed. I just love how it turned out so vintage and funky!
Now on to the chairs. I found this old set on craigslist and my father in law picked it up for me for fifty bucks. It has two leaves and six chairs that looked like this when I got them.

This was the original fabric

I loved the green and blue velvet but it doesn't match my colors. But here they are looking so good all black and white.

As you can see I still need to repaint them but I need to save some projects for another day right!

3 months!

2011-02-11T12:07:00.000-08:00

Yes it has already been three months since my last chemo treatment. Time has flown by. I am so happy with my progress and all I am able to do. I take care of my family and have even started working again. Three months is nothing but my life has changed completely. In Nov. I was in a bad place I had completely lost myself in cancer. I was sick and drained. I debated about sharing this pic with everyone. I took it for myself so I would remember just how bad things really were and so I would never forget to be grateful for my health. But I want to share it with you, no make up no flower no smile just the sickness at it's worst.

Now three months later. I'm cancer free. I feel amazing. I'm happy and fulfilled again. I feel like I have my identity back as a wife and a mother. And I am also proud of who I am. I survived not always pretty as you can tell but I did it. I feel like I was real and honest. I was as strong as I could be. I'm proud three months later and I love who I am. And I love that my eyelashes are back! There worth having to shave my armpits for!

Yay! Projects complete.

2011-01-29T18:45:00.001-08:00

I cleaned till late last night so I could do what I wanted today. And I got some stuff done! I'm so excited to show you guys how cute it all turned out.

This is how the wall at the end of my hallway looked. I actually did this project earlier this week.

And this is how it turned out. I painted the frames the old door knocker, and added the fabric. I felt a little guilty about getting rid of the spiritual things my mom had gotten me but I love how it turned out.

This was my project today. It's been a total eye sore and I wanted to get rid of it but not anymore.

Primed.

Painted.

Glazed! And so purty!

This is where I would have loved to put it.

But this is where it has to go. And yes those are branches off my tree that I spray painted. I also redid that heart thing today. I just loved how this turned out for about fifteen dollars worth of spray paint I have a whole new corner in my house I love! ( ps it took me longer to spray paint those branches then it took me to do the whole table glaze and all.)

New years eve.

2011-01-17T06:55:00.001-08:00

We went to St. George this year to spend the holiday with with Pig and Taylor. We had such a blast we took the kids bowling and they had a great time. Especially Cash he loved it after his turn he would totally strut back to the seats with his pimp walk so funny. We stayed the night and the next day me and Pig did a little shopping it's so amazing having them close. I just love spending time with their family.

YouTube Video

Snow day!

2010-12-29T12:22:00.001-08:00

Super fun time in the snow. The boys loved what Santa brought them.

Nov. 4 week 29 Cancer free!

2010-11-27T10:24:00.000-08:00

So Nov. Fourth was my last treatment I'm officially done. On my last one we took the whole family. We really wanted the boys to see what i've been doing this whole time. We took a thank you cake and made it a fun day. They really enjoyed it. I've been done for three weeks now and it feels amazing. I could't ask for better timing either right before the holidays. I'm still low on energy and I'm super weak still but I feel amazing. Mentally not getting sick all the time has really done wonders for me. I'm feeling so good and so blessed I didn't have to have the hysterectomy so I'm done with everything. It feels so good to be a mom again. My mom left right before my last treatment I'm so grateful for all she did to help and I couldn't have done it without her. Now that I'm on my own it's super hard but it is also so wonderful. It's like I have my identity back , I'm good for something now. It just feels so good to be able to take care of my family, it's such a blessing. Looking back at the last seven months I realise how much help I got from my heavenly father. I think that's the real lesson in all trials when you look back and know you didn't survive that on your own because you know your not strong enough. It makes you realise that your Father in Heaven walked that path with you and you might have felt alone but you never were. I'm so grateful for my husband I couldn't have done what he did. He was so patient and kind and took amazing care of me. He was the one shoulder I could cry on and I turned to him often. I'm really blessed to have such amazing people in my life. Thank you all for your prayers I hope you relies how much it means to me and how much ourFather has blessed me because of you.

Perspective

2010-09-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

I first have to say thank you thank you for all the prayers i can truly feel them working on my behalf. I'm doing much better now and have to say I know that is because my Heavenly Father has heard all of our prayers but of course he answered them in a way I never expected. As you can tell from my last post I was in a very dark place I truly had cried myself to sleep for the last 5 nights and at one point Ry said if you don't calm down I will call the ambulance and take you to the hospital that's how hysterical i was and if you know me you know I don't cry. But Wed. I got a letter from a total stranger that total changed my perspective and a switch went off and it was like new life for me I'm going to share with you what he wrote and I hope he doesn't mind."This is Marcy's husband - she has kept me up on your struggle and I asked if I could write to you)

You don't know me, and I don't know you. But in a way, I feel I do. I'm one of those 3 boys in the photo at the top of your blog ... just 25 years older now. When I was 7 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and I spent my entire childhood through the end of high school in and out of oncology wards and seeing first hand the emotional and mental toll that cancer took on it's victims. For myself and my two younger brothers, we got to see a lot of very good people suffer very unfairly.

You're at the very hardest stage, the stage where you've been getting sicker and sicker and the finish line was just moved on you again. It's terribly unfair and the thought of taking even one more step down the path seems like more than you can take. Instead of thinking of it as a race, or with a specific timeline in mind (one awful lesson I had to learn was that cancer refuses to stick to timelines) - think of another analogy. You have a photo of you boxing with cancer as your Facebook profile picture, and you had it knocked down and thought the fight was over. But somehow it has dragged itself off the canvas and you have to answer the bell again and go out there for one more round. Yes, it's going to be tough and yes, right now it sounds like something you can't do - but once it's over and you've won, you'll be proud of yourself for sticking with it.

I've read your blog and you are a strong, caring and eloquent person. Someday you'll be able to offer a wealth of experience and compassion to others who end up in the same situation - and you'll be able to look right at them and tell them of the times you were at the very bottom and managed to make it through, and it will be a huge lift to someone else.

I'm not a doctor, and I don't know your situation. I do know that in the long view of the rest of your life, 24 weeks instead of 22 is something you'll be able to look back on and realize was a very short period. If you feel that the medical advise is in your best interest, know that in addition to everyone you know there's also an entire community of those of us touched by cancer that are cheering you on.

Keep fighting, and I'll make sure to keep checking your blog. You're in all of our prayers.

-Nathan

(p.s - your sons probably aren't even old enough now to realize it, but they are learning an unbelievable amount from you right now on how to deal with adversity and they will look back and be enormously proud of you ... I know that was the way it was with myself and my brothers)"
This letter was totally my answer to prayer it wan't the call from the doc saying i didn't have to do more treatment like I wanted But none the less this was exactly what i needed a new perspective. I really haven't thought much about the affect this will have on my sons I mean I have thought about the negative things and tried to do all i can to prevent it but i have never thought about any positive affects. To be honest it seems like my kids could care less so I really never thought that maybe my boys are paying attention to me. His letter was like hearing my sons talking 25 yrs from now. He really made me think that how I handle this trial now will be the example my boys look to when they are having trials and adversity in their futures. I don't want them to just cry and give up when times are hard. So I can't either. It's just so crazy that a letter from a total stranger I have never meet or seen can totally change your life, but that is what he did for me. I can't thank him enough for listening to that little voice that said write to her and can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for sending me exactly what I needed in my darkest hour.

Weeks 17-22

2010-09-07T22:07:00.000-07:00

Yeah I really have been avoiding this in a bad way. I will probably want to remember these times though so I do need to get all my thoughts down. These last weeks have been the hardest of my life. My desire for normalcy has devoured everything else in my life.I can remember my life right right before all this went down. I was the mother of three on top of being a babysitter so at home during the day I had 3 one yr olds a 4 yr old and a three yr old. I also cleaned offices 3 nights a weeks my husband was in school and I had a very demanding church calling. I remember thinking is this really all my life is laundry and poopy diapers. I was so busy and scheduled and defiantly felt like a stay at home mom. You know under appreciated and over worked. But then it was like i hit a brick wall going 90 mph. When i got diagnosed I had two surgeries and started chemo the day after my last surgery. My mom moved in and I was sick. All the busy crazyness that my life was before became me staying home all the time my mom doing most everything and me being either in bed or on the couch. That started over 5 months ago. It was supposed to end after 12 weeks but that has turned into over 22 weeks. Now I dream of the days when I have enough energy to do the dishes and play with my kids without having to spend two hours lying down to recover. You know what it's like not even being able to to walk down to your mailbox because you know you don't have the energy to make it back home. It's truly depressing the tole these weekly treatments have been on my body. And to look in the mirror and look sick I mean no hair dark black circles and gray skin it's like looking at a walking corpse. I'm not really sure where this is going and maybe I shouldn't even be sharing these things I'm not sure. Maybe getting out the dark feelings will allow me to see the light. This week is supposed to be my last week of chemo it was defiantly that shining light for me I only had to make it till thur. But now that light has dimmed too. When I went for chemo on Fri the doc came in and said my cancer count had gone up one point and that has earned me another cycle of chemo which is two more weeks. It was a total blow to me I know your thinking after all this time whats two more weeks and believe me I've tried to tell myself the same thing but it's like I gave it all I had to make till this week and to ask more is like impossible. I talked to my doc again today he said my number is back in the normal range but he has to talk to the specialist and he's 75% sure I'll have to do another two treatments and possibly do the hysterectomy after all. It's like when that dream of having my life back is just in my grasp it's taken away. He already said it would take over a yr after chemo for me to get back to normal because of how much damage it has done to my body but at least I would be improving every month not getting sicker and now who knows. I know I'm a good person but I still can't help but feel like I'm being punished. i know God doesn't work that way bodies aren't perfect and they break down but this really has me in a bad place. i told my husband I was going to refuse any further treatment. I'm not trying to be a drama queen I just really don't think I can do one more day of this. I just need out you know and at this point it's not really a fight for my life it's just doctors doing guess work about a cancer so rare they don't really know what they are doing. It's not their fault but I'm just tired of well let's just do one more round. No way. For now I just keep praying that on thur. I will be done. That's all I can do pray. Please pray for me I need all the help I can get right now.

Week 13,14,15,16.

2010-07-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

So not a ton of excitement these last weeks. My cancer count is down to 17 so we are slowwwwly getting to zero. I did have my first trip to the ER over the weekend, not fun. I don't ever want to be that sick again ever. But I got over it quickly and it made me appreciate feeling better. That's kind of what I want to talk about today all the good things that chemo has done for me. First of all it has cleared up my skin I haven't had a zit for months now. My armpit and downstairs hair is almost gone, and that's awesome. I'm cooler in the summer and have saved on razors! I have gotten to spend a lot of time with my mom and my little sister Christy, that's been fun. And because of their help around the house I've been able to spend more quality time with my kids, just playing and snuggling instead of busy cleaning up after them. That's been so wonderful. I've learned to open up to my friends and family about the hard times too and it has made us all closer. It's made me realize even more how much I love our community and friends they truly are like family to us and we love them and appreciate them so much. Chemo has also brought me closer to my husband, it has made me see him in a new light and made me so grateful for all he does for me. He is so kind and affectionate but also so strong and pushes me when I don't think I can go any further. I love him even more now. It has also brought me closer to my Savior and Heavenly Father through my many desperate and pleading prayers for strength, poop, hope, energy, or relief. They have listened and answered many times and in ways I never expected. Chemo has also helped me to understand better the suffering of people with mental illness and long term health problems. By me just getting a small glimpse into their world has softened my heart and made my burdens seem lighter. So even though there have been really low times, and I'm still frustrated, I can see so much positive and great things that have come from my journey so far. I know I have a long way to go, but that means I still have a lot of opportunities to learn and grow and appreciate all the good I have in my life.

Weeks 10,11,12

2010-07-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how to start with this one I want to be so strong and positive, but I also want to be real and truthful about this whole process. To be honest these last few weeks I have just wanted to throw in the towel and quit. On week 10 I justt never bounced back I didn't have any good days. And I found out my cancer counts were down to 35 I know I should be excited because it's a low number but it was like a slap in the face not finishing the race by like an inch or something I just wanted it to be zero so badly. But week 11 came quickly and I was still so exhausted just feeling so down and drained I had to do another round of shots and I just didn't want to. It meant making the drive to St. George four days in a row and the shots are super painful and they make you ache your whole body. Needless to say they made me exhausted so by Sun. Night I had a total meltdown. I told my husband I was done I just couldn't start another week of this. To think that I have two or three more months of this is too much more than I can do. I broke down crying sobbing just hysterical I have never been that way ever to the point I almost passed out. My poor husband I think I scared him to death. But I calmed down and asked him to give me a blessing(in our church the men can give women blessings by putting there hands on your head and giving a prayer asking for help, or guidance or strength whatever your in need of). I was able to calm down and go to sleep. Needless to say I have had some really down times lately and then the call came on Wed. That they are holding off treatment again because my white count is too low. I tried to think positive that now we can have an awesome fourth but really I was pissed and heartbroken. I had just done all those shots so my counts should be super high and another week missed means this thing keeps dragging on forever. And then the final blow came today my hubby called the hospital to see if they could tell me my cancer count. 25 Really 25 ten points down from last time I could kill someone I thought for sure without doubt it would be zero but NO 25! So I cried a lot was super pissed and upset. Why the hell is this thing dragging on. Of course I'm sure there is a bigger lesson in all this, Starla needs to learn patience, or humility, a few more months with a bald head should do it. Right now I don't give a crap about the big picture or the life lesson I'm just sick and tired and broken. Not to scare you cause I'm no cliff jumper or anything. I just want to be honest I'm human and I've done the strong thing for as long as I could. But now where do I go from here how do I get back to a good place. I'm not sure I know the answer to that. Maybe there is some truth to fake it till you make it, pretend to be happy and ok and then you will be. Or maybe it's just that tonight I go to bed with a prayer and a hope that tomorrow will be better. That at the end of all this I can look back and be proud of how I handled this even though I have had really hard times. Maybe I'll say a prayer and have the courage to do one more day with a smile on my face. I hope so I hope this cloud will pass.

Weeks 8,9

2010-06-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

I need to get better about updating. Week 8 went pretty good I was hoping my counts would be down to zero but they weren't. My count was 110, down which is good but I was still a little disappointed. Patience has never been my strong suit so I've been frustrated knowing I still have so long to go. My counts have to be zero and then we do 8 more weeks. So come on already! Last week was super crazy we went down Sat. to Las Vegas after my big treatment to go to my little sisters graduation on Wed. I was so worn out but glad i went to support her. Wed. night we headed back to Kanab and Thur. morning went to St. George for my treatment. My white counts were to low so they didn't do chemo they gave me a shot to boost my white count and then I had a ct scan of my chest to see if the spots are gone. Hopefully I'll have good news this week about those results. Then Fri. we went back to St. george to get another shot and then headed to Richfield for a funeral. One of my mission companions passed away she was my age and died in her sleep. It has been very devastating to me as we are so close. Her parents asked me to speak at the funeral. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. We got back Sat. night and had to go Sun. morning again to St. George for another shot and then again Mon. morning for the last one in that series. needless to say this has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. But Mon. night we celebrated my two youngest boys birthdays. That was so fun getting the family together. This week has also made me reflect a lot on my own life with the passing of my dear friend so suddenly and my cancer and seeing so many people go through chemo some of them terminal, it just made me think of how quickly our lives can change. I defiantly want to simplify my life so, no more babysitting and, no more bunco. I really want his next year to be about me and my family and the ones I love the most. We just don't know what's in God's plan for us so we need to make the best of our time here. Tell the people around you how wonderful they are. Love your kids every day like it might be the last time you see them. Kiss your spouse goodnight like you really mean it. And do some good in this world. You will never regret doing a nice thing or setting a good example to those around you. Live everyday the best you can but don't worry about perfection Jesus took care of that, that's what the atonement is for just use what you got and make the best of it. To my dear friend Jenna (aka Pete) I love you and miss you so much. You were an amazing example to me. Give Jesus a high five for me and tell him to hurry this chemo thing along! Lucky to have an angel like you looking down on me.

Week 5,6,7

2010-06-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

Ok obviously I've been slacking week 5 really threw me off. My white counts were so low they wouldn't even do chemo. But the next week my counts were back up and we started again. I also found out my cancer counts are already down to 320. So after 4 weeks they droped from 350,000 to 320. It was very exciting news once the count gets to zero then I have 8 treatments left so the count down can really begin. I've been feeling pretty good which is a true blessing. And my armpit hair is almost gone which is totally awesome! I had to shave my head well bic it because the fine hairs started getting so irritated I'm not sure why but my hubby loves my smooth bald head. My eyebrows and eyelashes are still hanging on. The hardest part lately has been the anxiety I get it so bad the days before my treatments I just go crazy during the day doing projects and staying busy but then at night I can't sleep it can be very frustrating. It's defiantly a mental game fighting the depression that wants to consume me and just making myself get out of bed everyday. It's nothing I've had to deal with before it makes me feel for those who deal daily with these problems. It's all stuff that I just didn't know I'd be dealing with I just thought I'd be puking a lot. But I'm grateful that I know this will be over and I can have my normal life back a lot of people don't have that. I also got to go to a cancer makeup class they had for our 36 and younger group. There was like 6 of us and a lady came to teach us how to put makeup on and draw on eyebrows and stuff and companies donate all the makeup for us. It was so fun they also had wigs for us to try on they weren't to bad but I just can't see myself wearing one. I don't know what it is maybe cause it's fake and that just bugs me plus they are hot and ichy. I just rock the bald head and let the people stare! Plus I really don't see myself very often so it's really not my problem. It is tough sometimes I just miss my hair but it will grow. I'm hopping we'll find out thur. that my counts are down to zero so get your prayers going then we'll start the countdown. Love you guys thanks for all your encouragement I'm trying to stay strong and positive and all your kind words help.

Week four!

2010-05-11T10:49:00.000-07:00

Week four has been a crazy one. When we went on Thursday they said my white counts were very low so we would need to come down everyday for three days to get a shot that would stimulate my marrow to produce white cells. So we had to drive the hour and a half Thursday. Fri. Sat. and sun. It was crazy but I did get to go with my little sisters one day to go shopping and that was fun and Mother's day we drove home through Zion and it was so beautiful. And besides being tired I have felt pretty good. The funny thing about chemotherapy is everything they give you to help you has horrible side effects like the iron they give me to boost my red blood count , it makes me super nauseous and can give you a rash. The shots for the white blood cells made me so ache my muscles and my bones. Next thing they give me to help me I'm going to ask if the side effects are worth the help. I mean really! On Mon. our town threw a fundraiser for us. My wonderful volleyball girls organized it and they got so much help from our church and the community. They had a dinner the two grocery stores in town donated all the food they had a craft sale a bake sale and a yard sale. The turn out was amazing there were probably around a thousand people there and when you think that there are probably only four thousand people in the whole town it just blows my mind. It makes me feel so loved. It also shows me that there is so much good in the world. That with all the craziness going on around us there is so much power in just old fashioned love and kindness. It also makes me feel like God is so aware of little me in this big world and he has given me so much support through all these wonderful people!

Week three

2010-05-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

Well week three has been full of surprises. The next day after my last post we were driving to my treatment and I was messing with my hair and it started coming out by the handful. They said by week three but I didn't know they ment that day. It was so weird to just out of the blue have your hair fall out like that. But we just came home after the treatments and shaved it. The kids got a kick out of it and it has been a much easier transition for them then I thought it would be. When we went to treatment they first do blood work and then we met with the doc. He said my red blood cells are really low and they would start giving me iron in the iv every week, and if the red count doesn't go up they will have to do a blood transfusion. So everyone pray that the iron works cause the transfusion scares me. Then they told me my white counts were very low too and I needed to stay away from lots of people. So I was feeling pretty discouraged after that visit but then we went back the next day for more treatment and the nurse said my hcg levels were in. Those are the cancer markers that they use for this cancer and starting out I was at 350,000 and now just after two weeks it was down to 18,000. That's no typo it has dropped that drastically so now I feel so happy. I know your prayers are working and the treatment while hard on me is totally kicking cancer's ass! It was just the encouragement I needed. This week has been hard the treatment makes me really sick and being sick makes me more negative and sad but I know in a few days i'll be feeling better. The hair thing has been crazy. It's like looking at a stranger in the mirror. My friend Katie made me a whole bunch of flowers and headbands that I love it gives me a feminine look and doesn't scream cancer like the hats do. I'm so blessed to have such amazing friends.

Second week

2010-04-28T13:52:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah the small treatment last week wasn't so bad. I prayed and prayed that I would be able to go to my boys baseball games on Sat. It was Braxton's first t-ball game ever and Austin's first game of the season, so I wanted to go so bad. My prayers were answered I had really bad heartburn but that was the worst of it. It really gave me the confidence that maybe I can do this after all. If only every other week is bad then I'll have lots of good days. I also went to all three hours of church on Sun., it was a little tiring but I'm glad I did it at least once. Of course I came home and puked my guts out I couldn't even keep water down but It was just the stomach flu and only lasted a couple days. I was pissed at first like really Heavenly Father do I really have to be sick on my good week, but then I thought about it if I got this sick on My bad weekend I'd probably end up in the hospital so I realized it was a blessing after all. It's crazy the things you learn to appreciate. My hair is also hanging on which is nice. Everyone keeps saying what if yours doesn't fall out. I would be so pissed if I cut all my hair off and it doesn't fall out. Stinking charity and their sick kids taking all my hair. I would write them a letter asking for my hair back and have someone put them in extensions! Just joking that would be so funny though. "Dear Locks of Love, My hair didn't fall out after all I would like my donations back please. Love Starla" I'd really have problems then h uh! Anyway all kidding aside I just want to tell all my friends and family thank you so much for everything. I really do feel so loved. And to my Bunco girls thank you thank you! You guys rock and I'm so lucky to have you as my friends!

First week

2010-04-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

My guess is there are a million cancer blogs out there so I'm not sure what to write exactly in these updates. I do want to be honest though so, chemo kicked my trash! I'll admit I'm not superwoman and it has been much harder than I thought. I had a couple rough days over the weekend. Having said that, I have had many good days and many good moments that out weigh the bad ten fold. There have been so many blessings, like last Thurs. we went in for the first treatment I had just had surgery the day before and we still didn't know what the plan was. I needed to receive 3 different chemo IVs and the one took 12 hrs. and they hadn't worked out the details yet. When we got there the first two took a couple of hours but then they gave us a fanny pack with a pump and taught Ry how to unhook it and flush it when the 12 hrs was up. They said usually they just hospitalize you for two days because of the time and that we had more treatments the next day too. Instead we got to leave go stay comfortably at a friends and that is a blessing. Constipation (I know TMI !) has been a ridiculous challenge. One night on the crapper in tremendous pain I began to be-raid God and ask him, well tell him to help me. He could do this for me a poop wasn't too much to ask for right! Well after a little suffering and me not patiently waiting, relief comes. Now you all know poop can be an answer to prayers. It was a blessing. Now I know alot of people are reading these updates and some don't believe in a higher power. But this is not me trying to convert. I know people may look at my faith and think it is a coping mechanism. But for me it's the defining reality of my life. I see myself as a daughter of God, a person of tremendous worth and potential. Though I may have hard times and struggles I know I have, not merely a God but a Father, a Heavenly Father who loves me his daughter. And though he doesn't take away my trials he lifts my burdens and soothes my aching heart. So don't give up on this blog or dismiss it for it's religious tones. Just take this opportunity to get an inside view into my life and what my faith does for me. To all of you thanks so much for everything. Being the charity case is not easy for me but I have learned so much by being helped and motivated by all of you much love. Star

p.s. I'm no Tebow and I have no desire to be a poster child for Christianity. I have my own problems and am nowhere near perfection. Thank you.

Locks of Love!

2010-04-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

Before

After short and sassy!

I was so happy my friend Jeri could fit me in today to get my hair cut. I really wanted to donate it so something good can come of all of this. Fyi Locks of love won't take your hair once you've started chemo I was so glad someone told me that or all my gorgeous hair would have gone to waste. It was good to be able to talk to my kids about it so they understood that this hair will go to someone who needs it much more than I do. I don't think they will do the hysterectomy this week we haven't heard anything and they scheduled a surgery for WEd. to put a post in. It's just a thing they put under your skin to put the iv in so they don't have to find a vein each time. I feel so blessed though a sweet family in our church gave us a check yesterday for $500 and today I got the call that we would need $500 by Wed to cover half the cost of the surgery up front. I know God is so aware of us and our needs and he answers our prayers through other wonderful people who listen so carefully to his guidance. Thank you to everyone who has given us kind words or has stopped by to encourage me. I feel lifted by all your sweet sprits.

Cancer, can't believe I said it! (Choriocarcinoma)

2010-04-10T15:42:00.000-07:00

So I debated long and hard about this, to share or not to share? I tend to be a very private person, especially with bad news but there is a lesson in everything so I have a feeling my lesson is to be more open communicate ask for help and share good or bad so here it goes. In Aug. I miscarried I didn't tell anyone at the time but my cycle never returned to normal I ended up having a period for a long time like months long, so I finally went to the Doc. He did some blood work and gave me some pills and I went home. No big deal. A couple days later I get the call you need to do an ultrasound you blood work wasn't good. So I go there is a mass in my uterus the guys says it look likes a molar pregnancy. Then two hours later I get a call come in you need to talk to the Doc. The Doc says you have a molar Pregnancy you need a D&C but it's a special one so you need to be in St. George tomorrow by nine. So off we go, we see the surgeon he tells us to wait for the call and then we go down they do the D&C and we're back home. I'm wiped out after the surgery so tired but I'm hopeful. Then two day later the bleeding returns I get worried but I have no idea what's going on. A few days later the surgeon calls and says we just got the biopsy results and it's cancer. So I booked you a CT scan and an app. with the oncologist. This was thur. Apr. 1st, but it was no joke. Can you imagine calling your family on April Fools to tell them you have cancer Yeah that was good times,Heavenly Father has to get his giggles some how. It was a long wait till our app. but on Wed. we went, the oncologist said we need more than just a ct scan we need a brain mri and blood work too. He diagnosed me with Chorio carcinoma. It's a very treatable cancer but it's spreads quickly and easily following the blood flow. so they had to check the brain, lungs, liver, kidneys, well that's all I can remember. So after all the tests they told us to come back tomorrow. We have to drive 1 1/2 hours to get to St. George for all these app. so me and Ry have had lots of quality time lately. So we went back on Thur. the 8th. The oncologist said that the cancer had spread to my lungs but no where else, that is a good thing he said the lungs are easy to treat he said I was at stage IIIB and was high risk so they had to be aggressive with the treatment. He said Chemo would start on thur. one week from today. He also said I needed to think about doing a hysterectomy because this cancer can come back but I'm young and need to decide if I was done having children. I told him I wanted it done cause the kids I have are my priority and I want to be healthy for them. So he said he would try to schedule the surgery for early next week but it might have to be after the chemo is done because the tumor in my uterus is very large and they might not operate till the chemo has shrunk it. The Chemo will be in two week rounds for 12 to 18 weeks. the schedule is 2 ivs on thurs followed by a 12 hr. drip then fri two more ivs then three days of this chemo pill then thurs. two ivs then the whole thing starts over on the next thur. It will be intense and my hair will be gone by week three but my spirits are high I'm so grateful it's me and not one of my kids. I'm grateful my mom can come up to help and I have a very supportive and loving husband. Right now I don't need anything but your love support and prayers. I know this is a lot to take in my mind can barely come to grips with it but just know I'm ok I know I will be fine once this is over and you know I'll look so sexy with my bald head everybody will want to shave theirs. I'll try to update this every week so that you guys are informed. But please no sad cancer stories unless you have tips or tricks from your own chemo experience.

Projects!

2010-03-24T15:08:00.000-07:00

Ok this project turned out so cute these are curtains for Cash's room. Total cast was $30. I could have bought curtains for that much but they wouldn't have matched so perfectly!

This was my room make over project it's not done yet but we rearranged the furniture I love where it's at now and I painted all the dresser and night stand including the hardware. It was that ugly peach before with gold hardware. I have a new bed spread I ordered and I'm going to paint the bed dark too and curtains so I'll post when it's finally done. BUt the total cost was only about $40 dollars worth of spray paint. I love it!

These are baby bracelets I made for Lindy's baby girl I've also had 3 friends who have had baby girls so don't worry ladies I got them coming for ya!

This was a cake me and Austin made for his blue and gold banquet. It turned out cute and he was excited I just wish I had some black frosting to outline it but next time I'll know.

Las t is this cake I made for Ryan for Valentines. Nothing like giving a gift you can eat too! It was yummy!

Crazy kid!

2010-01-20T12:15:00.000-08:00

Braxton: Mom do i have to go to school today?
Me: No.
Braxton: Yay! Mom I'm so proud of you for saying no!

Austin 9th B-day!

2009-12-01T12:29:00.001-08:00

It's so hard to believe we have a 9 yr. old. Time sure has flown by. We had a small party for Austin in Las Vegas over Thanksgiving break. He wanted a spiderman cake which I wasn't sure I could pull off. With the help of my hubby we did it and it turned out so cute! He was pretty excited. We have vowed for next yr though to have a Kanab party for him with all his friends poor kid and his holiday B-day always gets gipped.

More Halloween!

2009-11-12T12:54:00.001-08:00

These are our three little monsters! This year we didn't have a uniting theme but they were all super cute! I made Austin's costume it turned out pretty good considering I didn't have a pattern and i had to watch youtube videos of some 40 yr old virgins to get ideas. But next yr I might try to make all three who knows!

This was Ry's pumpkin it wouldn't download last time so I'm happy it did this time so cute!

This was my costume for our halloween bunco. I was livin la vida chola! I won a $30 prize for best costume! I really didn't deserve it but hey I'm not giving it back!

Oh Braxton!

2009-11-05T14:13:00.000-08:00

Braxton is our middle child. He is a special boy with an interesting take on life. That is the nice way of saying he is your run of the mill pain in the butt, but we do get a kick out of him. Here are some of his more interesting things he has said.
One day Braxton refused to clean up his trains so his Dad took them away and put them down stairs. So the next day Braxton was sneaking downstairs and bringing pieces of his train back upstairs bit by bit. When I caught Braxton I told him he better put them back or his Dad would be very mad. this is how the conversation continued..
Braxton: Well then I will tell Dad you let me go get them.
Mom: Braxton that is a lie.
Braxton: Well then you tell Dad you let me.
Mom: Braxton that is a lie too and I don't lie.
Braxton: Well what's Jesus' number?
Mom: You want Jesus' phone number?
Braxton: Yeah so if you don't tell Dad that, then I will call Jesus and tell him your being naughty!

Yes I was blackmailed by my four year old to lie or he would sic Jesus on me!

Then yesterday I told Braxton he needed to clean up his room. He wasn't doing it after I had gotten after him several times so I told him he better hurry before his Dad got home or his Dad would get mad at him. Braxton looked up and said,"Well actually Mom he'll be mad at you for yelling at me."
So much attitude I don't know what I'm going to do!

Halloween Fun!

2009-10-28T13:46:00.001-07:00

When I had a couple days off last week me and the boys had some halloween fun! Our hairy spider cupcakes!

Our bat cupcakes! these were my favorite so cute!

This is what we had for dinner, mummies and monster fingers!

My pumpkin! Turned out cute but man it's hard work!

Stinker butt Cash!

2009-10-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

Why table cloths are a bad idea! With one tug from the baby my vase and everything else was gone. That vase survived four years of Braxton and countless knock overs but was no match for our monster Cash!

This is what happens when the baby goes out and plays with the big boys!

Why I hate winter! The never ending runny nose!

Project complete!

2009-10-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

Ok so the boys had completely destroyed the blinds in their room. Don't ask me why or how they did it. It must just b e a boys thing that is out of the realms of understanding for us moms. Any how ryan has been complaining forever about how ghetto it makes the house look from outside so he wanted to buy new blinds. I kept saying no they will just wreck them again and i will make curtains. Finally I found the motivation and project complete! That's my wifey robot voice I use when I have to do tasks that I feel are forced on me!

Critters of Kanab!

2009-09-16T12:26:00.000-07:00

So we get a call one Sat. morning about 7:30 our neighbor has a snake. So Ryan runs over and plays a super hero kills the snake and saves the day! Good thing too cause it was a rattle snake.

This next critter was a moth we found at one of the offices we clean it was the size of a large humming bird! Very creepy so of course we had to take it home. On the way home though it escaped the cup and was loose in the van luckily Austy caught it and put it back! It was very exciting!

Pioneer Day!

2009-08-18T08:53:00.001-07:00

These cute boys are ready for their float the theme was pioneers in blue jeans.

My family came up for the parade it was fun having them. The boys loved seeing them as they rode by!

Our YM and YW decorated our van I'm not sure how hippies tied into the pioneers in blue jean theme but maybe they are pioneers of peace. It was cute anyway and the cowboy in the window is because Braxton wouldn't ride on his float but he loved riding in the van with his dad and waving at everyone.

Our Austin rode proud on the primary kids float they were so cute all sitting around a camp fire I love all the fun things our little town does to celebrate.

The Grand Canyon

2009-07-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

We went camping at the Grand Canyon with a group of our friends last weekend. It was so fun the kids had a blast. They love camping especially the fire. Boys and fire it's like flies and honey! But we had a great time thanks to the Orton's for planning it for us!

Mr. Happy

2009-07-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

We got my dad a Mr Happy shirt for Father's day to match Braxton's shirt aren't they so cute! I just love these guys! I think grandpa loves having all these grandboys to play with don't cha grandpa!

Our first garden harvest!

2009-06-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

Our garden is doing awesome. It's hard to believe we are already getting veggies from it. Of course we did already get a few strawberries but the boys ate them before I got a pic. We will eat them for fathers day dinner so yummy can't wait.

Birthday Boys!

2009-06-19T08:13:00.000-07:00

We had a party for Cash and Braxton since their birthdays are only 6 days apart. I know it's a shocker but I did make these cakes. it took me forever I had to cut the cakes into shapes and then dot all the icing on what a pain in the butt. Luckily Hayle helped me and I got it done in time. The boys had a great time thanks to all who came it was so much fun. It's hard to believe they are another year older.

Happy Birthday Braxton!

2009-06-10T11:06:00.000-07:00

Happy fourth birthday Braxty! I just can't believe he is that old we moved to kanab when he was 6 months. Time has flown. We are sure lucky to have our Braxty in our family. He really is the life of the party coming up with funny sayings Like " Good times, baby. Good times." or funny dances. He keeps us on our toes. I sure love him though I spend most of my time with him cause Austins in school and Cash naps so he is just my constant companion. I'm going to miss him when he starts preschool this year. (but just a little bit!) Love you Braxty!

Happy B-Day Cash!

2009-06-05T13:17:00.000-07:00

Our little Cash turned one yesterday so i thought i would take some pics of him and his tree. We planted this tree one month before Cash was born. It's crazy to see how much they have both grown.

Dancing fools!

2009-06-01T14:25:00.000-07:00

These guys love to dance! It's so cute to see them together! I especially love the robot dance!

Gorgeous storm!

2009-05-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

This is why we live in Kanab i took these pic from the front lawn with our cheap camera so you know how pretty they were in person. Nature is so beautiful up here I think sometimes we take it for granted.

Cute Cash!

2009-05-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

This is our big boy he is learning so many new things it's so fun to watch him try to copy what you do.

Mother's day gift.

2009-05-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

This is what I made my mom for mothers day. She did get it a week late but she loved it and that's what counts.

Pooped!

2009-05-26T14:46:00.000-07:00

I told Braxton to go in and go poop, and then it had been quiet for a wile so I went looking for him. He wasn't in front of the tv or in his room, he was asleep butt naked on the bathroom floor. Ryan said man i guess he was pooped!

Our garden!

2009-05-14T09:53:00.001-07:00

Yeah our garden is in! We planted tomatoes, corn , squash, zucchini, broccoli, strawberries, asparagus, and peppers! Now we just hope and pray it will survive. Especially with our dog and boys running around back there. I'm just so glad we are able to do it this year since we've moved in every summer we have had an event hopefully (knock on wood) we will be event free this summer! So everybody pray it will grow so we can share all our yummy vegetables with you!

Little puppy!

2009-05-11T16:18:00.000-07:00

Well Grandma you were right Cash is going to use the doggy door to escape outside. Lucky for me he can only get about half way out. For now!

Summer haircuts!

2009-05-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

We got out the buzzers and went to work. We even got Braxton to cut his beautiful golden hair.
MOM: Braxton do you want a hair cut like Dad and cash and Austin?
BRAXTON: No my hair is awesome I don't want it messed up it's cool!
So funny this kid knows what cool is but we bribed him with some wii time and he let us cut it they look so handsome baby Cash looks older and Braxton looks younger isn't that so funny how that works sometimes!

SO CUTE!

2009-04-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

Me and My mom Made curtains for my van they turned out so cute. I just love them and they do help it to stay cool so that will be nice!

I love Youtube!

2009-04-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

Sleeping Cutie!

2009-04-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

After I put Cash Money to bed I came in and checked on him and this is how I found him. So cute he found his pillow and cuddle on it. Isn't he so sweet I just love that boy!

Easter!

2009-04-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

We had a great easter! My family came down and we just hung out and relaxed it was great! The boys got lots of candy. They had like three easter egg hunts. baby Cash said forget the eggs I'm just going to go for the candy! I love any holiday good food and family!

Must watch video!

2009-04-14T09:25:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Tu0PAbW75A
gotta see this video so good!

Go Austy!

2009-03-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

Austin had his space derby. His dad made him the cutest pencil rocket! Austin wasn't sure about it at first but when it was the only one that made it to the end, He thought it was pretty sweet!

Project complete!

2009-03-19T14:03:00.001-07:00

This one is for Ryan's cousin we are going to his wedding this sat. Hope they like it! But really does that even matter! J/K

Our crazy Braxty!

2009-03-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

So i gave Braxton some paper and a pen so he can write, and this is what he wrote. The funny thing is what he said the "letters" said. Mind you this is word for word.
Dear Mom,
Will you be nice.
Yes son.
Thank you mom!
Love, Braxton

Dear Dad,
Will you help me play Star wars clone wars.
Yes son.
Thank you Dad.
Love, Braxton

Dear Mom,
Will you help me play star wars clone wars.
No son.
Mom thats not nice now I'm walking away.
Love, Braxton
Yeah he even said the Dear and Love parts how does he even know that's how a letter starts and ends. I really don't know where they get it.

Cash Money!

2009-03-19T13:46:00.000-07:00

So sad he is growing up faster and faster everyday. I laid him down for his nap and of course the screaming commenced, so I went in to check on him and this is what I found. He can climb up but not down so he gets stuck and cries and cries it's sad. And i have to check on him constantly. sometimes he climbs up to the wall side and cries and hits the wall with his hands like he's stuck in jail and desperately needs out. Kids they're too much.

Sweet Ride!

2009-03-14T14:27:00.000-07:00

Yes I know it might seem out of character to the people that have known me only since being in Kanab. But it was my idea to buy the bus not Ryan's. it was love at first sight for me. And I got to be honest I love it. It's so fun putting around town in it. The kids get a big kick out of it. Well everyone that sees it gets a big kick out of it. I know they are laughing at me but that's okay someday we will turn it into a sweet ride and I know those of you that have known me for along time are not at all surprised!

Austy the wrestler!

2009-03-14T14:14:00.000-07:00

Austin went to his first wrestling tournament this weekend. We are so proud of him for sticking to it. It's fun to watch him compete he is really good at wiggling out of pins when people have him down I know next year he'll be even better. He even got a medal this year. Good Job Austy!

Big Boy!

2009-03-08T14:16:00.000-07:00

Cash has started to crawl like a big boy now but he'll only do it when he's naked. I think it's because the floor is too cold on his belly so it forces him to get up on his hands. He's nine months now and getting so big . He is still a happy baby but nap time is no longer his favorite time he fights sleep pretty bad. He's also getting his top four teeth at the same time so that can't feel good. We just love our little Cash Money! I put a video of him crawling on you tube just search strbrte and it will pull up all my videos.

Another one down!

2009-03-04T20:31:00.000-08:00

Yeah , i finished another project! I just love these kind of things that when your done you just walk away, unlike house work where you have to go back five min later and do it again! I would change two things about his one though i would have done the sock and the bow in stitching instead of the punch needle they are just too small to get the right definition but i think it turned out okay. Now i just need to make or find a frame for it. I think I'll make a few of these things and try to sell them. Or just give them away like i normally do!

Hair cut!

2009-02-23T14:48:00.000-08:00

Lindy this is totally your fault! J/K I think it looks cute a little shorter than i wanted and Ryans not home to see it so if I go missing i guess that means he didn't like it J/K What a stud! He looks older and his cute teeth he's a growing boy! He got that bruise on his nose from the ride he took down the stairs in his walker. He's okay and he stayed upright till the bottom then he flipped forward and face planted. I swear our house is trying to kill our kids! But so far they have been watched out for.

My latest project!

2009-02-18T15:49:00.001-08:00

I just started to do this embroidery. Since Time out is an important part of our lives with 3 boys I came up with this one and I'm pretty happy with it. I still don't consider myself crafty but I do enjoy learning how to do new things.

Our little adventure

2009-02-18T14:08:00.000-08:00

My family came down last weekend and we had a great time. On Sat we took a little day trip to lee's ferry it was so fun we stopped on the way and saw the mushroom rocks and then we went down to the river the kids love throwing rocks in the water. We also went on a small hike to see what was left of the steam boat. It turned out to be just the metal barrel thing but the hike was still fun the kids loved it. We can't wait to do it again this summer when the kids can play more in the water.

our cute store!

2009-02-13T10:31:00.000-08:00

Our little store will give you coins when you check out so your kids can ride the merry go round for free. Isn't that so cute our kids love it!

our table!

2009-02-11T10:39:00.000-08:00

The other table we had was too big for this house.So I looked for months to find a new one and I found this one on craigslist we got it for 75 dollars. I've spent the last month or so refinishing it and now it's finally done. I just love how it turned out now I just have to start on the six chairs that will take me a while don't you just love projects.

Funny guy!

2009-02-08T13:05:00.000-08:00

Here are some more of Braxton's pics! And some of his funny quotes of this week.

while watching Aladdin during one of the kissing scenes:
Mom: ewww! That kissing is gross huh!
Braxton: No I think it's yummy! just a little bit I think!

Braxton: Mom I want a snack!
MOM: No it's almost dinner and mom is excited cause she is so so so so....
Braxty: So Pissed OFF?
Mom: No hungry!

Yeah I'm still working on the good mom thing if you couldn't tell!

Our little photographer!

2009-02-08T12:38:00.000-08:00

Braxton loves to take pictures. At first it was just pics of peoples legs and butts but now he is doing better. It will be interesting to see if it's something that he sticks with. This is his first gallery of pics.

Deer Again!

2009-02-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

I know I've posted about the deer before but it stills amazes me every time. This time i was walking by the big window in my kitchen and boom a million eyes on me it scared me to death they have never been this close during the day it can be a little unnerving because they are quite big. Me and Braxty tried to go out to feed them some carrots but they ran off. Maybe we can tame them pet deer would be pretty sweet.

In Vegas you have to worry about your neighbors dog pooping on your lawn here, you have to worry about your neighbors dog and a whole herd of deer pooping on your lawn. The problem is deer poop and coco puffs look alot alike luckily Braxty is old enough to know better and Cash is still too young to play outside but I can see that next year this might be a problem. We'll have to have a little lesson coco puffs okay to eat deer poop not chocolate.

Austin's first pine wood derby!

2009-01-31T12:03:00.000-08:00

Austins is in the lane closest to you. He didn't win anything but after he said that was sure a fun derby huh!

Catch up!

2009-01-29T08:57:00.000-08:00

Well i still haven't posted all our christmas stuff yet. But we had a great christmas we went to Las vegas and spent christmas at my moms. It was so fun all being together. Then me and the boys stayed the next week so we could go up and take matt to the mtc. It was a great experience. I hope my boys remember all these trips to the mtc. It was so sad to say good bye but Matt was so ready to go.

Pass Gas!

2009-01-11T20:48:00.000-08:00

Farts - Funny videos are here

Family Guy S.4 E.12 Dueling Farts - Click here for the most popular videosToday an older lady in our ward had to talk she got up and was saying how nervous she was and on top of it all she " Had gas" Her exact words! So hilarious nothing like talking about bodily functions over the pulpit. I love our town! And it goes to show farts are funny no matter how old you get.

CODE!

2008-12-23T11:26:00.000-08:00

Okay Mom and Dad Time for a little taste of your own medicine. Your code to open your presents is 1178. And your clue for today is it's numbers not letters love ya and good luck!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2008-12-16T16:17:00.000-08:00

Holy cow did it ever snow here. It is like 6 in. or more. It defiantly is more than we have ever had here in one day! So crazy. We were sledding down our driveway on storage lids and cookie sheets but the boys had a blast. WE also had big old icicles the kind you think could kill some one if they fell down. It has been quite the adventure for us vegas folks in the snow.

Kanab Parade of Lights

2008-12-14T20:50:00.000-08:00

I don't know if that's what they called it but our little town loves parades. This year was their first year to do a christmas lights parade. It was actually better then I thought it would be there were some really cute cars. And some celebrities showed up smokey the bear and Santa! The boys had fun.

dance dance!

2008-12-11T10:56:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

elves

2008-12-10T22:17:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Decorated!

2008-12-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

It now looks like Christmas threw up in our living room!( and notice the colors of our christmas tree don't forget Jesus was a Jew!)

Christmas time.

2008-12-08T12:19:00.000-08:00

We went and got our tree yesterday. It was so fun watching the kids run around in the snow go to my youtube strbrte and you'll see braxty and kennedy in their snow fight. It really feels like christmas now. Thanks Steph for finding the perfect tree! It's so fun to spend time with you guys. I just love having these traditions that bring our family close. What a blessing to live where we do so we can do such fun things.

Cash is sitting up!

2008-12-08T10:54:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Thanksgiving weekend!

2008-12-08T10:13:00.001-08:00

Our Austin boy turned eight and got baptized we are so proud of him! It was an awesome thing to see. The whole family was there and what a special experience. I can't believe he is eight time goes by so fast.
We also had Austin's B-Day party at Grandma Holly's. It was fun!

OUR BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS

We had Thanksgiving at Grandma Hirschi's it was so fun to see all the cousins playing. Of course when the girls got dressed up Braxton wasn't about to be left out. Notice the pretty red shoes. Too funny!

Austins mohawk!

2008-11-21T11:46:00.000-08:00

I forgot I told Austin I would post these pics so everyone could see his mohawk. It was crazy hair hair day at school so he needed a hair cut anyway so we let him have it for a day. Then he came home and I told him it was time to cut it he said but i like it spiky. I told him if he kept this look he would have to do his hair everyday before school. He said never mind you can cut it!

Cash's first haircut.

2008-11-11T16:37:00.000-08:00

So you all know cash's hair has been out of control it has all fallen out except a strip right down the top which has gotten super long. So it came time to cut it. I really almost couldn't do it it was so sad. But he looks so cute so much better then the gross comb over.

Oh my Braxty!

2008-11-09T13:57:00.000-08:00

Ray came over yesterday and said to Braxty holy cow boy you must have grown a foot since last time I saw you. Braxty immediately looks down at his feet to try to find that other foot. Too funny!

cali!

2008-11-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

Here's some pics form our cali trip it was a blast the kids had so much fun! thanks grandma and grandpa for everything. I wish my friend michell could come on our trip she is so talented and would have gotten much better pictures but here is a few of my favs!

picture tag

2008-11-04T07:13:00.000-08:00

This is the fourth pic in my fourth folder and it's of me and my boys right after we got our new computer just testing the built in camera! Yes what a glamorous story! okay I tag Melissa mom and Stephanie Melvin(freaking post already), Stephanie Clark and Kara!

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

Dude!

Hot Rod!

Boys kissing? Mom this ones for you! Even though I'm an adult for some reason I still love to torture you!

10 years!

2008-10-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

How crazy that it was our ten year high school reunion! It's so hard to believe. We went down to Vegas and went to the football game. Of course we played Bonanza( Ryan went there) SO Ryan was happy to see them crush us and we also got to see Su Zu there! It was so much fun seeing everyone and catching up I swear in 10 years everyone looked the same. It was so good to get to hang out with steph we've been friends now for over 20 years it's so crazy! I just love her what a blessing she is to me. Our kids are so cute together I just love that age as long as you are the same height you can be best friends. I also got to see Tara who I haven't seen in forever I just love that girl she has always been such a good example to her family and I really respect her for that. It's so crazy to see us all as moms and wives. Time sure has changed allot for us. I love you guys!
Ten years ago!

Today Yeah we are still pretty cute!

Shelby and Braxty! They are totally getting married some day they just don't have a choice!

Holy Crap DEER!

2008-10-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

Ok so just now I went to look out our back door and there were like ten deer on the hill in our back yard like no joke 15 feet from our house! It's so crazy to go from Vegas to having deer in your back yard it's insane!

Our dorky boy!

2008-10-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

This is why we don't do our baby's hair like this! He looks donald trump or some other old guy with a comb over. Of course he's cute no matter what but he is just so geeky looking with this hair!

the first snow!

2008-10-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

It has been so cold the last few days we even had our first snow fall on Sat. Don't worry dad it was only for a few min and didn't stick to the ground. But it was so exciting for our boys.